父母經(jīng)常擔(dān)心他們的孩子長(zhǎng)大后如何適應(yīng)這個(gè)世界。

他們長(zhǎng)大后會(huì)快樂(lè)并適應(yīng)良好的環(huán)境嗎？

他們會(huì)找到一份好工作并過(guò)上舒適的生活嗎？

每個(gè)孩子都是不同的，每個(gè)人都按照自己的節(jié)奏發(fā)展。

但事實(shí)證明，在培養(yǎng)成功的孩子方面，有些策略比其他策略更有效。

心理學(xué)家和其他育兒專家表示，父母可以通過(guò)以下五種方式幫助孩子為未來(lái)的成功做好準(zhǔn)備。

將自信置于自尊之上

您可以互換使用“自信”和“自尊”。

但教育心理學(xué)家 Michele Borba 在 2022 年為 CNBC Make It 撰文稱，在養(yǎng)育一個(gè)成功的孩子方面，一個(gè)比另一個(gè)更重要。

自尊代表我們?nèi)绾慰创约旱恼w。

自信反映了我們?cè)谔囟ㄇ闆r下對(duì)自己能力的信心程度。

這兩個(gè)概念是相關(guān)的，但研究表明，自信是未來(lái)成功的更好指標(biāo)，因?yàn)樗兄趫?jiān)定孩子們的信念，即他們的技能和努力將帶來(lái)豐厚的成果——比如取得好成績(jī)或在體育運(yùn)動(dòng)中表現(xiàn)出色。

博爾巴寫(xiě)道：“真正的自信是表現(xiàn)出色、面對(duì)障礙、創(chuàng)造解決方案并重新振作起來(lái)的結(jié)果?！?/p>

博爾巴指出，父母最好通過(guò)退后一步，讓孩子自己成功或失敗，而不是徘徊并試圖為他們解決孩子的問(wèn)題，從而增強(qiáng)孩子的自信心。

這樣做可以幫助他們學(xué)會(huì)在失敗時(shí)重新振作，并相信自己最終會(huì)成功。

教導(dǎo)自我控制

研究表明，自我控制有助于決定未來(lái)的成功。

新西蘭奧塔哥大學(xué)研究人員進(jìn)行的一項(xiàng)長(zhǎng)達(dá)數(shù)十年的研究顯示，當(dāng)孩子們學(xué)會(huì)忽略不必要的干擾并控制自己的情緒和行為時(shí)，他們通常會(huì)變得更聰明、更有動(dòng)力。

作家兼心理學(xué)專家尼爾·埃亞爾 (Nir Eyal) 在 2019 年為 Make It 撰文稱：“保持注意力不集中是 21 世紀(jì)最重要的技能，而許多父母卻未能教會(huì)孩子這項(xiàng)技能?！?/p>

Eyal recommends starting early. Toddlers can begin to understand the concept of time, which means parents can start explaining the importance of budgeting time to focus on important developmental activities. Kids can even learn self-control through play, including games like freeze tag and "red light, green light."

Give them autonomy

The ability to self-motivate is one of the two important traits that can help kids grow into successful adults, child psychologist Dr. Tovah Klein told Make It last year. (The other? Confidence.)

Establish expectations for your child, with their input, when it comes to everyday actions like getting themselves ready for school, choosing after-school activities and doing their chores, bestselling author and parenting expert Esther Wojcicki recommends.

"The more you trust your children to do things on their own, the more empowered they'll be," Wojcicki wrote for Make It in 2022.

Eyal also suggested using tactics like making "effort pacts" with their kids, where they commit to specific limits on tempting distractions — like a one-hour daily limit on screen time.

Don't stress over perfection

Wojcicki raised three successful children — a doctor and two high-profile CEOs — but she never demanded perfection from them. That made a big difference, she noted.

Give your children room to fail, treating their mistakes and setbacks with empathy rather than scorn, to help them maintain confidence while learning to view failures as learning opportunities, she advised.

"Mastery means doing something as many times as it takes to get it right ... It was the learning and the hard work that I wanted to reward, not getting it right the first time," she wrote.

Perfectionism doesn't make your child more likely to succeed in the future, and it can contribute to mental health issues like anxiety and low self-esteem, research shows.

You can teach your kids to reframe how they think about making mistakes by openly discussing errors you've made, how you've solved problems and what you learned in the process, Bryant University psychology professor Allison Butler told Make It in January.

Talk about financial literacy

It's never too early to teach your kids about money: how to earn it, spend it wisely and save it while planning for the future. Most U.S. students don't learn those lessons in school, which can cost them money as adults, according to a 2023 survey by the National Financial Educator's Council.

Parenting expert Margot Machol Bisnow interviewed the parents of 70 highly accomplished adults for her 2022 book, "Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams." Teaching financial literacy was a common thread for those parents, she found.

比斯諾在 2022 年的《Make It》雜志上寫(xiě)道：“盡管與我交談過(guò)的父母從未強(qiáng)迫孩子追求高薪工作，但他們所有人都努力以某種形式教導(dǎo)孩子有關(guān)金錢(qián)的知識(shí)。”她指出，他們堅(jiān)持自己攢錢(qián)買(mǎi)自己想要但不一定需要的物品，比如一雙新的溜冰鞋。

哈佛畢業(yè)的投資者、在線財(cái)務(wù)咨詢公司 LearnVest 的創(chuàng)始人 Alexa von Tobel 表示，你還可以嘗試以實(shí)用、“實(shí)事求是”的方式與孩子談?wù)摻疱X(qián)，比如討論日常用品的價(jià)格。

馮·托貝爾上個(gè)月告訴《Make It》，告訴你的孩子，金錢(qián)只不過(guò)是“幫助你過(guò)上你想要的生活的工具”。

“金錢(qián)不應(yīng)該被崇拜。它也不應(yīng)該被忽視?！?/p>

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